If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family
Stop reblogging my failure
SO dublin minors won the all ireland football this week (don’t worry if u don’t understand its just a sideline)
and they were all out celebrating
and they found daniel radcliffe in dublin at 4am and invited him to a house party with them
and he…went with them
How to celebrity; A book by Daniel Radcliffe
I simultaneously feel like I’m a toddler and a thousand years old.
I can’t believe this happened to me.
humans are fucking pathetic look at this little nigga come out of his egg on his own no crying no helpless “wah wah cut my umbilical cord” bullshit he come out and he already on the hunt for reptilian pussy no fear no games. and we’re the evolved species? smh
this right here is my favorite line in the entire fucking show
is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing
no its called highjacking
guys no it’s weedwhacking
no its called dissapointing ur mother